First, let me say that the Colonoscopy results came back normal. Well, I have internal hemorrhoids, but who wouldn't after taking that nasty prep medication? I mean, that has to be the worst experience of my life. Miserable...just miserable But, it's good to know that there were no tumors. My doctor also re-stretched my esophagus during another EGD. The biggest problem with my colonoscopy was getting the IV put in my arm. Well, they didn't actually get it into my arm. After three painful tries, they decided to access my port. Of course, even that couldn't go over easily. See, I need an extra long needle. Normal needles are 1 inch. Steenie needles are 1.5 inches. My port is in deep under my skin. Such is the luck of me. After all of that worrying, that's all there is. Thank goodness.
In June I went to see my general doctor and have myself tested officially for diabetes. She expected me to be in pre-diabetes because of the family history of diabetes and because of the steroids I had to take during chemo. Unfortunately, the test came back as I expected. I officially have Diabetes. So, I went to a diabetes class in July and I'm testing my blood sugar often. It's a bit of pain and I'm not very good at this whole thing yet, but I'm hoping to get a handle on this soon. Trying to eliminate everything from my diet is really the hardest. No milk, no pineapple (see below), low sugar, etc. I really do wish I could catch a break.
Right after this, I had a bit of a bad reaction to pineapple. Okay, apparently is was a huge allergic reaction to pineapple. I was sitting in my chair, enjoying pineapple when my mouth started to itch. Then, it started to burn. After that, my throat started burning. It felt like my mouth, tongue, and throat were swelling. Yeah, I thought it was just from eating too many pineapples because this was the first time I'd ever had more than a piece or two. So, I took a Benadryl (it was to swallow), read about pineapple allergies (They are extremely rare.), and convinced myself that I was just freaking myself out and that it was nothing. No, it wasn't nothing. My allergist said that I'm lucky to be alive and that I was a fool for not going to the ER. Apparently, I was in the beginning stages of Anaphylactic Shock. Oops. So, now I get to carry an EpiPen and have to eliminate yet another thing from my diet. It's confirmed...I am extremely allergic to pineapple and kiwi. Guess I should be happy that I'm alive.
Now for a positive...I also made a trip to NH this summer in June. My dad flew down and rode back with us. Logan and I had a great trip and I finally got to show one of my kids how I spent my summers as a kid. Logan got to see mountains, the Atlantic Ocean, waterfalls, mountain springs, and so on. It was wonderful. We were able to visit my aunt and play a lot of yahtzee. Logan met his great-grandmother. It was a whirlwind trip. The best part is that Logan has talked about it non-stop and can't wait to go back next year. He even has Tristen pumped up. And, he wants to stay longer. They turned thirteen a couple of weeks ago and I know how precious this time with the is. It won't be much longer before they don't want to do anything with family. I'm so excited. And, this vacation was something I needed so much. This break from life. Thanks Dad and Elsye. This trip meant the world to me.
Unfortunately, I had to come back to the real world. And, my real world involves medical problems. Always. I started feeling bad the last week of July. It was a cold, but it lingered. Usually, I get Bronchitis every August. I've had it for the last four years in August. So, I went to the doctor and caught it early so I was told I only had an upper respiratory infection. Because my doctor knows me so well, she put me on an antibiotic, Omnicef. It's the first time I've taken that particular medication. In hind sight, we should have known that was a mistake. About three days into taking the medicine, I started bleeding during bowel movements. I, of course, immediately went in to see my doctor. Yep, you guessed it. I had a bad reaction to the medication. It caused my colon to become inflamed and caused my hemorrhoids to rupture. I'm very fortunate that it didn't cause more damage to my colon. Now, I'm taking a suppository to help with all of that. Seriously?
While I was at the doctor's for the respiratory infection, I asked her to run a test. I tell her I'm pretty sure I'm ovulating and that I have cysts. Why should I not be ovulating? Well, I'm taking medication to stop my body from producing estrogen. At least, I thought that's what Tamoxifen did at the time. I still don't really get it. The tamoxifen creates an "anti-estrogen" that binds with the cells that estrogen normally would...I don't know. Anyway, she did a blood test and I got the results when I went back because of my other problems. Yes, I'm ovulating. Despite the fact that my OB/GYN told me I was post-menopausal, I'm ovulating. What?!?!?! Why, oh why, can't one doctor just tell my I'm a hypochondriac? I mean, you can't make this stuff up. She told me to make an appoint with my OBGYN. Seriously, I'm at a higher risk for ovarian cancer. I'm ER+ and PR+ which means that my cancer feeds off of estrogen and progesterone. The last thing I want to be doing is producing more.
So, last week, I saw my OBGYN. I showed him my test result and he said that something had to have "kickstarted" my ovaries into action. He did an exam and had me get an ultrasound because of the pain. Haha, I guess I laugh to keep from crying. My left ovary is enlarged to 9.4 cm. That's the size of a grapefruit. It has multiple cysts with septations on it with the largest measuring 4.3 cm (apple sized). My right ovary has one cyst on it. The technician said she'd never seen an ovary like this. It was huge. She also said that it looked like I was going through fertility treatment. What?!?! The doctor said that this might make my decision to remove my ovaries (see below) an easier decision. Basically, I have to have surgery. He needs to look at my ovary and figure out why it's enlarged. He's concerned about a possible Ovarian Torsion. And, of course, the septations are a concern (more likely to be cancerous). Under normal circumstances, after looking at it he would make a decision whether the ovary can be fixed or if it needs to be removed. Given my circumstances along with the extremely enlarged problem, he's about 98% sure that he will have to remove the left ovary no matter what. By the way, surgery is scheduled for Thursday, August 28th. He would have scheduled it immediately, but wanted me to see my Oncologist beforehand. So, again, I'm faced with the "c" word and I have to make decisions. Again, I'm in pain. Again, I have to have surgery. Again, I have to worry.
Today, August 25th, I see my Oncologist. Boy, do I have a lot of questions and problems for him during this first post-treatment (again see below) follow-up. I have to ask him about Tamoxifen and the possible effects it's had on me. During my research, I read that some doctors use it as a fertility drug. Next, I'm ovulating...am I supposed to be? Also, I have to have surgery and I believe that I need both ovaries removed. Hello, you told me that I didn't need to have my ovaries removed because the chemo would "destroy" them. Pssh, if any one's ovaries could withstand that and pull me from post-menopausal to pre-menopausal, it would be mine. Why does my chest hurt? None of my other doctors know why. I'm sure there are more questions, but the ovaries have pretty much trumped any other concern I had. Well, we'll find out today what his opinion is. I know my answer though...the ovaries have to go. I can't worry about Ovarian Cancer for the rest of my life.
Now, I've kind of been avoiding posting this part. It's really good news. It's the news that everyone has been waiting for...
Why haven't I shared this? This is the question everyone has been asking me. Well, it's simple. I didn't want to jinx myself. I thought maybe if I didn't post this. Just maybe if I quit talking about it. Maybe, just maybe the other shoe wouldn't drop. Well, it's more than shoe. So many shoes have dropped that my closet looks like Imelda Marcos' closet. But, alas, that clearly didn't work. And, since the shoe has dropped, I've realized that I can't just worry. I have to enjoy the victories. So, without further ado...
I AM OFFICIALLY IN REMISSION!!!!!
As many of you know, I finished my last chemo treatment on July 3rd. Cancer cells have not been detected in my blood since my surgery. Some may consider that day to be my remission day, but I count it from the end of treat. It's the day I rang the bell. It's the day I rang the bell for me, for my grandmother who passed from cancer after a long battle, for every person who wasn't able to ring the bell. It was a very emotional day. I still get teary-eyed thinking about it. And, even though I will never consider myself cancer-free or cured because I know the fight doesn't end here (see above for examples), it was one of the best moments of my life. I had a Remission Cookout Celebration. It was perfect. I'd like to share my triumph with you and thank you for sharing this journey. You all are a part of it. And, even though it will continue, I'm so grateful and happy about this huge victory.
