Thursday, March 19, 2015

The Aftermath

The storm is over. The world keeps spinning. The people keep living. Life goes on. You survived. You should be rejoicing. You're alive. It's over. All is good. Right?

Once the hurricane passes, it's time to go outside, spin around, and sing the joys of being happy and being alive. You survived. Even through all of the destruction and flooding, you didn't drown. You made it. The house may be gone but the foundation is there. You will rebuild and be stronger than before.

Is that reality? No. In reality it's so much more complicated. As time goes by, everyone else (especially those who didn't actually lose everything) goes back to a normal life. The hurricane becomes a thing of the past...a distant memory. They are the lucky ones. They aren't scarred from the hurricane. It didn't flood their house. They didn't have to climb out of the wreckage. It's easy for them to put it all behind them. The storm becomes a blip in their world. It's easy to forget and to move on with their lives. But, for you, not so much.

Emotionally, you've been damaged. Your foundation starts showing cracks. Will you ever rebuild? You start trying to build the framework, but where's the money to cover the costs? Insurance doesn't pay their portion. They find a way around it and you are drowning in debt trying to rebuild. So, the framework just sits there. Smaller storms keep hitting. The framework comes crashing down. You're back down to your foundation. And, it seems like the cracks are bigger. You keep trying and trying to rebuild, but it just doesn't happen. You're stuck. You're homeless. You're all alone. You and your cracked foundation.

Around you the world is moving. Everyone else has recovered. It's just a story for them. It's a reality for you. You're scared. What if another huge storm hits? How will you survive? You find yourself crying. You find yourself ready to give up. How do you rebuild? Everything is damaged. You don't have the strength to put up the framework. You feel like you are still drowning. Did you really make it out of the storm? You start wondering how everyone around you can just go on so easily. Why aren't they as affected by the hurricane as you are? They just don't understand. They haven't lived it. They haven't lost their security, their comfort, their life. They get to do everything they want. They are able to be active and live life to the fullest. You...you're stuck trying to rebuild. It feels impossible. There's no wood for your framework. There's no easy fix to fill in the cracks of your foundation.

Eventually you get used to being in the dark. It becomes a way of life. Will it ever be light again? What was the point of surviving? Rebuilding...it's a dream. Is it even attainable? How do you get past the fact that everyone around you moved on with their lives? How do you get back to normal? How do you ever live again?